I love it when a part of the universe is overtly revealed to someone … just a simple truth, just another piece of the puzzle not previously noticed. And sometimes it’s the missing spark that can provide powerful illumination … and the epiphany I’m talking about is, in short, that I don’t matter. Please don’t take this as a mournful cry for help, or even attention. It is actually quite the opposite, it’s very liberating!
You see, I provide two types of coaching for my clients – transitional and behavioral. With transitional coaching, I work with leaders that are moving to the next significant level within their organization’s pipeline. It may be from individual contribution to leading others, from leading others to leading leaders … and all the way up the chain. I’ve found that there is a very predictable set of cues and timetable for when a leader in transition will need a sounding board, a bit of advice, or just some plain old help with their new role. Benchmark companies today provide transitional coaching for the people in their leadership pipeline. The need usually lasts for only six to eight months, but if you are wondering why their boss doesn’t provide it, there are three reasons; either their boss has no time to coach, no skills to coach, or it may not be ‘safe’ to even admit that you want or need coaching. The reason though is secondary, what is critical is that the leader receive the coaching they need.
The second type of coaching I provide is a stakeholder-centered process that I learned from Marshall Goldsmith, and it’s usually to help correct behavioral deficiencies that block leaders from effectively running their teams – regardless of organizational level. It’s more involved than transitional coaching, and requires at least double the time and effort.
So, I had been speaking with a client recently, specifically one who over time had purchased my services to coach several dozen practicing leaders within her organization. We reviewed our regular progress report on each of our current coaching engagements, and I proudly ended with a spectacular report-out on a leader having made significant positive behavioral change in listening – and in becoming someone whose team will look forward to interacting with him (instead of dreading it). Let’s call that leader Gary.
My client surprised me a bit when she responded to my obvious enthusiasm with, “Yes, but Gary wants to improve … he wants to get better.” That’s when the epiphany hit. In her mind, I don’t matter in the equation. It is the candidate’s desire and willingness to change that predicts the success or failure of coaching. We’ve espoused this truth for a long time, and it’s nice to see validation from another. I bring experience, process, tools and perhaps wisdom to an engagement – but implied in my clients statement was, “if they don’t want it, who is doing the coaching won’t matter … and if they do want the coaching, guess what? The coach still won’t matter all that much.” What a lesson in humility and perspective for coaches around the world. Whether an outside resource – or a line manager desperate to improve the performance and engagement of their people, we don’t matter … we are not the x-factor.
And as a practicing leader and coach, we can do more. Let’s do something different – we can’t help but get better:
- Chart your team – of the coaching opportunities you’ve identified within your group, make a list of who you think wants the coaching and who may not.
- Make the call – have the conversations you need to reinforce one’s desire and effort toward personal growth, and to acknowledge in another the absence of that same willingness.
These very conversations can provide significant reward to the former, and a focused new awareness to the latter.
-Don Brown
don@donbrown.org
Don Brown dedicates his career to ‘helping people with people’ in leadership, sales and customer service. Bilingual and experienced at the executive and line-level alike, you see the results of his work across dozens of industries, including brewing, automotive, airline, banking and medical equipment.
Speaking, writing, coaching and selling to the best – Ford Motor Company, Anheuser-Busch, United Airlines, Harley-Davidson, Jaguar Cars, Hilton Hotels and many, many more – Don takes great pride in long-standing customer relationships (some running well over twenty years).
