Today I’m gonna debunk the top three myths that most people believe about what it takes to be successful and how these things are a quick path to burnout, not success.
While most of us have different definitions of success, these three myths apply no matter what definition you subscribe to. These beliefs will have tremendous detrimental impact if you go on believing them, regardless of your age, occupation or goals in your life.
Myth #1– Fatigue is an achievement and badge of honor.
This is a common misconception and sometimes compulsion that I have encountered in my stamina coaching again and again. This is the person that has the belief that they must be the busiest and most stressed out person in the office, or they aren’t working hard enough. They announce proudly when they skip their breaks or their lunch, and by doing so they’re suggesting that others should do the same.
This is toxic in any environment, especially in the workplace. If this is you, cut it out. Not only does this negatively impact you, but it affects those around you as well. By valuing busyness and fatigue, you perpetuate this negative and contagious culture, influencing others to adopt or continue similar habits.
What you focus on expands, so if all you tell yourself is how busy you are, you’re never gonna see a better way. The truly successful person knows how to manage their energy. They sleep well. They fuel their bodies properly, and that includes taking breaks. And they know how to get the most out of their day, both at work and at home.
Plus, we know now that the benefit of taking breaks is backed by research telling us the better you manage your energy, the more productive you’re gonna be. So take those breaks. Don’t be that person boasting about how busy, how stressed, how tired you are.
Instead of wearing your fatigue as a badge of honor, make the commitment to do something about it. Take your life back and wear that as your badge of honor.
Myth #2 Self-care and self-development are selfish
This is absolutely 100% not true. Self-care is the number one most important thing you can do if you spend any time at all leading, taking care of others or just aiming to be the best you can be for those around you.
If you want to be the best leader for your team, invest in you first. If you make withdrawals from the bank account of your creativity and capacity for engagement without any deposits or investments, your interpersonal effectiveness is gonna diminish rapidly.
Participate in mindfulness-based practices to gain the perspective and clear head needed to lead well. Take the time to do the things that bring you joy simply for joy’s sake. This time that you dedicate to yourself to decompress and de-stress is the investment in you that accrues over time and gives you the ability to pay generous dividends to the people that you influence.
If you want to be the best parent, then time for you is also vital. Take a moment to think about it. When you feel good, when you’re relaxed, how do you parent versus when you’re stressed out, short-tempered and exhausted? I know two different versions of myself show up in those different scenarios.
You can only give to the level in which you’re receiving. It’s up to you to intentionally seek out opportunities to fill yourself up. Noone’s gonna do that for you.
A simple exercise I use with the people I coach is called the joy list. Write up a list of everything you can think of that you enjoy doing or enjoyed doing at one point in your life. Once your list is complete, circle three things that you can still do today, or that you have access to. Get to work on one of these joy-inducing activities today, right now. Don’t wait, your happiness is so important. The more you invest in your self-care and self-development, the more positive of an impact you can have on other people.
Myth #3 You are too important to take time off
Conversely, this is the quickest way to ensure burnout. It’s also a fast track to resentment and wanting to quit to escape the demands that for the most part you’ve placed on yourself. You are important, yes that is true! You are important to yourself. To your family, friends, pets – and anything else you hold dear.
I’ve coached countless individuals whose ego was so attached to their perceived contributions at work, that they skipped on planned vacations, they missed their kids’ championship games, and even canceled wedding anniversary celebrations to work.
Now I’ll admit, that last one, that was me. That’s an example from my life. I was right there just a few years ago. And it was that specific time in my life that heavily influenced my need to develop the Stamina ProtocolTM.
What I’ve learned is that life and work, they go on, even when you aren’t there. Of course you’re a valued member of your team, and of course it’s sometimes true that work and obligations can’t wait. But take care that you don’t let your ego get so attached to how you’re being perceived or what you think people are thinking about your contribution that you forget to live.
Instead of letting these destructive myths create damage in our lives and in the lives of those that we care about, embark on a mission to be a positive influence in your environment. Invite someone to lunch away from the office. Ask someone for a walking meeting rather than staying seated. And if you see someone beginning to sacrifice themselves too often for the sake of others, pull them aside and share this blog with them.
Remind them of what you learned here, and imagine a world where overwhelm, burnout and chaos was no longer expected, no longer regarded as normal. Imagine a world where high energy, engagement and joy was the norm, what was expected. That’s my vision.
These three myths are widespread in American culture, especially in the workplace. It takes guts to go against the grain and step outside what is normal. In many cases, normal is unhealthy, and in my opinion, a little bit crazy. I know you’re searching for a better way, and you want your life back. Anytime you notice one of these myths popping up in your life, simply acknowledge its presence and ask yourself, “What can I do differently “to blaze a new trail, one full of energy, “connection to others and excitement “about my life and how I spend my time?”
If you’re unsure where to begin to overcome these limiting beliefs in your life, I wanna help you.
I offer a free 45-minute “Stop 🛑 the Burnout” coaching call to those who are most dedicated to taking their life back.
Included with the call is a free 10-step stamina self-assessment to give you clarity on what you need most in your life.
During the call, we will walk through your assessment results together so that you have total confidence in what you need most and how to get it. We’ll lock down the vision that you have for a future you and map out the exact strategy and action steps for a month of tremendous action that I know will lead to life-long results in your career and personal life.
On this journey to health and happiness, I want you to feel confident. I want you to feel confident in this journey to success, and when trying to overcome burnout and building stamina, confidence comes from two things. It comes from knowledge about ourselves and our habits and what we might need to do differently, and it comes from action, both taking the steps that help us reach our goals and by removing self-imposed barriers getting in your way. If you’re ready to start changing your life, click the link to apply for this free clarity call. I can’t wait to get to know you better.
Natalie Peterson is the creator of The Stamina Protocol™, Stamina to Care and Fuel & Fit – Habits for Life. She helps successful people and organizations battle the symptoms of burnout. Instead they gain the ability to take back their time, double their energy, and increase focus so they can finally be more successful at work and not arrive home stressed out with nothing left in the tank.
Natalie has 13 years’ experience in organizational development and human skills training. Natalie holds a Master Trainer Certification in Situational Leadership® , The Leader’s Protocol® , The Service Protocol® , Forte Communication, and is a Marshall Goldsmith Certified Executive Coach.
Natalie has traveled all over the United States and Latin America implementing leadership curriculum’s into organizations, across every industry, from healthcare, to retail, and global call centers. She has a Master’s in Exercise Physiology, a certification as a Strength & Conditioning Specialist through the NSCA, Precision Nutrition Level 1 & a 200-hour Yoga Teacher Certification.
She can be reached at natalie@donbrown.org
